Turning Back the Clock

I look in the mirror, and I think I will be happier if I change something about myself. Changing myself is not going to make me happy. What I want is to look like I did when I was happy. I wore that skirt when I was happy. If I lose enough weight to fit into that skirt, I will be happy. My hair color was different when I was happy, if I change my hair color, I will be happy.

Sometimes the idea of happiness is experiential. I was happy when I bought something nice for myself or my kids. If I go shopping, I will be happy. I ate at that restaurant when I was happy. If I eat at that restaurant now, I will be happy. I was happy when I watched that movie. If I watch that movie again, I will be happy.

The problem is that I was happy AND these things happened. It wasn't that I was happy BECAUSE these things happened. How do I get to the place before these things so that I can find the cause of my happiness? What came before everything? The answer is God, and He is waiting.

When Israel was a child I loved him, out of Egypt I called my son. Yet is was I who taught Ephraim to walk, who took them in my arms; I drew them with human cords, with bands of love; I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks; Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they do not know that I was their healer. My heart is overwhelmed, my pity is stirred... I will not let the flames consume you. Hos 11: 3-4, 8-9