In my house, where I sit is important. Each wall or window has a unique vantage point. Nothing really matches, but it all has a flow to it. My place at the dining room table offers me a view of my husband, my children, and picture of Jesus presiding over a wedding ceremony. I am never alone. My place in the living room offers me a view of the television, the front door, the basement door, the dining room and the hallway. I am ready to address visitors. My praying place in my room faces my door so that I can spring into action when needed, but my place at my desk, where work must be done, faces away from everything except the work that must be done.
Victimhood has a lot to do with perspective. I feel I am not getting what I want, so it is the responsibility of someone else to fix my life. To the person who is called upon to fix said person's life, victimhood looks a lot like bullying. Bullying is contagious. There was a person in my son's life, who exhibited some questionable behaviors. My son was very upset about these behaviors, and yet over time he began exhibiting them. I have to bring to his attention that his actions are just as wrong. The next step is lamenting he had ever met this person, who set such a poor example in his life. Now, I am the bully for pointing out the bad behavior, and victimhood goes on.
I cannot undo the harm this person has caused in my son's life. I cannot undo the harm my son has caused in my life. All I can do is be available to spring into action when it begins so I can head it off. That's right, damage control. I am reduced to damage control. I have spent a lot of time being angry about the harm this person has caused, but angry doesn't heal the wound. I am called to pray for both this person and my son to be healed of their wounds and be at peace.
You have heard that it was said: 'You should love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. This will make you children of your Heavenly Father. For he causes the sun to rise on evil people as well as on those who are good, and the rain falls on both the righteous and the wicked. If you love only those who love you, what reward will you receive? Matt 5: 43-46
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