Being a homeschool mom, I tend toward perfectionism. Anything less, and I feel I have failed my family. However, life with children is messy. There are times I feel frozen in indecision and bricked into my own expectations as if I were living in an Edgar Allen Poe story (and not the one with the raven!).
I found that changing my kids was not going to bring me the peace of mind I was looking for. I needed to change myself. I began by taking a small unholy habit and lifting it up to God. When His light shone on it, it didn't appear quite so overwhelming. It is not easy to reveal the vices I keep carefully hidden, but in the light, they don't seem quite so awful.
Once I became different, I could see what needed to change in my household. A little bit of reorganization, and I could breathe again. It all had to start with me. I had to lead and be the change.
"You know the time in which we are living. It is now the hour for you to wake from sleep, for our salvation is closer than when we first accepted the faith. The night is far spent; the day draws near. Let us cast off deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light." Rom 13:11-12
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