I have noticed there are two kinds of friends. There are the I would die for you friends and the we are not in an actual relationship; we're just friends, friends. I watched my son experience both, over the weekend.
Imagine a seventeen-year-old boy putting on armor, drawing his sword, and picking up his shield. He is standing before the gates of hell preparing to face the fierce Angst-Drama-Dragon to defend his just friend's honor. He is joined by others, boys and girls who don their own armor, draw their own swords, and pick up their own shields.
"So, what's all this?"
"She says her friends are toxic."
"I thought we fixed that last month."
"She says she wanted to give them another chance."
"What about the emotionally abusive boyfriend?"
"She wants to forgive and forget."
"What about school?"
"She switched schools three times, and she still isn't happy."
"Well, whatever happens, we're here for you."
"Thank you, I never doubted it."
Meanwhile, the just friend could not understand why my son was upset with her behavior. Just because she agreed to be his "plus one" at a school event, did not mean she had to spend all of her time or any for that matter with him. Just because she spent her time with the toxic friends she complained about, just because she lied to him, just because she left without saying good-bye ... It's not like they were in a relationship. They were just friends. She should be free to spend time with anyone she wanted. There should be no strings attached to their just friendship.
In the English language, "just" is a limiter. To say something is "just" anything is to say it is not really that thing at all. So, it would follow to say that a just friend--ship is no friendship at all.
This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. No one can have greater love than to lay down his life for his friends. John 15: 12-13
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