I have a tendency to act out of fear. If I present a side of myself that is competent, I will be liked. If I dress in a way that appears confident, I will be accepted. If I speak about my experiences, I will be welcomed. If I put forth a facade of the person I believe they want me to be, I will no longer be outside, in the cold, waiting to be invited in. That strategy, I have found, does not bring forth positive results.
One time, in high school, I wanted to impress the person I was with by repeating a joke about golf not being a real sport; it was (and stop me if you've heard this one) just a group of men, in ugly pants, walking. The person I was with had lettered in golf at his high school. Dang it! How could I have known that?
I saw this person again recently. I told him that my younger children were taking dance class because taekwondo had brought them no joy. As it turns out, this person was a black belt in taekwondo and taught classes at his school. Dang it! How could I have known that?
I mentioned that I would not let my children date in high school because dating is for the discernment of marriage. If a person is not ready to consider marriage, a person should not be dating. I also do not believe in long engagements. As it turns out, he met his wife of about 25 years when they were fifteen, and they dated for seven years before they got married. Dang it! How could I have known that?
If this person ever wants to speak to me again, I believe I should spend the entire time asking questions. In the meantime, there is nothing I can do, but be me.
The Lord has established His throne in Heaven, and His kingdom rules over all. Bless the Lord, O you His angels, you mighty in strength who do His bidding, who obey His spoken word. Bless the Lord, O you His hosts, His ministers, who do His will. Bless the Lord, all His works, everywhere in His domain. Bless the Lord, O my soul. Psalm 103: 19-22
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