I find that there are two kinds of family: the one a person is born into and the one a person adopts along the way.
When I was young, I thought I had to earn people's love. I was as awkward as Barney Fife trying to fit in at the Esquire Club. I shared jokes I had heard, told stories, made treats and offered gifts. Nothing seemed to entice the extended family (I have no shortage of cousins) to invite me into their group.
Recently, I have had the opportunity to see some of my cousins, and they were very nice to me. My aunt and uncle raised them right. I left feeling empty because nice is different from going out to coffee on a Tuesday or meeting at each other's house on a Saturday afternoon.
Yesterday, I realized that I did not need their love, attention, and inclusivity. I have the family I that I have collected along the way. They are the people who see me as me and not the person they have to entertain, while their parents talk to my parents. That makes all the difference.
Beloved: Be serious and sober-minded so that you will be able to pray. Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God's varied grace. Peter 4: 7-10